Do Not Leave Your Personal Belongings Unattended
by Aeneid
Summary: In which Kagura learns the hard way that unattended belongings will indeed be swooped down on by hungry vultures… or in her case, fangirls who wants to get a piece of her significant other, attached or otherwise. KaguOki, with a light hint of SabuNobu.


Oh hey I'm back!

... Well, I didn't really go on a hiatus. I'm just more active on Tumblr lately, and I post my fics there more often, as I've been writing a lot of lemons for the fandom. I don't want to post my okkagu lemons at the risk of getting it deleted, so all of the smut can be found on my blog. The link to my Tumblr blog is on my Profile page.

Also, it was Kagura's birthday last November 3, and I wrote a fic especially for that occasion. I'll post the links on my Profile page as well so you can check it out.

Anyway, this one-shot was inspired from a friend's joke/pick-up line story that goes like this:

Guy: I'll just go to the toilet.  
Girl: Okay.  
Guy: *grabs girl's arm and tries to drag her there* Come on.  
Girl: WHY?!  
Guy: *points to a nearby sign* 'Cause the sign says 'don't leave your personal belongings unattended'.

Yeah, something like that. Anyway, I've written this while I'm half groggy from the lack of sleep, so hopefully, this is coherent and understandable.

This is more KaguOki than OkiKagu/OkKagu, so don't be surprised with the way the story goes.

Anyway, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama. It belongs to Sorachi Hideaki.

* * *

**Do Not Leave Your Personal Belongings Unattended**

* * *

If there was one thing that frustrated Okita Sougo, it was when the girl he has been dating for nearly three years still refuses to hold his hand while they walked around town. It wasn't as if he was asking her to do a public act of embarrassing themselves by being the typical idiotic couple who wouldn't stop being so lovey-dovey, but don't all couples hold hands, even the ones who had germ issues? Sure, he could stand the absence of HHWWWMSM (Holding Hands While Walking With Matching Swaying Movements), but for nearly three years and counting, all because _she didn't want to?_

… Very well. All for the love—I mean, all for the sake of harmony, he would respect her decision and just place his hands on his pockets while they were out for a stroll that late afternoon. At least she would never dare accuse him of making any moves on her as he kept his hands to himself (in more than one ways, _mind you_), and kept their relationship as platonic as possible. Kisses were far and few, and only then he would kiss her if she asked, which usually meant kisses on the cheek ("lips are for eating food, not for kissing"). He'd have to agree with his conscience that he was turning into a masochist for her, but wasn't it a norm for a sadist to be an M for that one special person in his life, who happened to be the Yorozuya's resident China girl?

He sighed.

Sougo was nearly at his breaking point, and frankly, he didn't want to deal with this anymore.

… But seriously, if China was gonna complain about this shit one more time, he might just _snap_.

"Oi, sadist, we need to get moving." She said, interrupting his train of thought.

He turned to look at her, backing away a bit as her umbrella nearly hit his head. "Right. Where do you wanna go then?" the policeman asked.

"Your treat, obviously. You're gonna make me pay?" she asked him in a rather threatening tone which would have intimidated people, yet it was something he had already been used to every single day of his life ever since they got together.

"Not really." Thank the heavens above for huge pay checks given to public servants. "Let's go. I'm hungry."

* * *

As soon as they entered one of those chain restaurants that served super-sized meal, all eyes were on the sadist who wasn't even doing to alert them of his presence yet was able to catch their attention. Kagura knew the girls were all looking at him because of his looks (talk about disgusting), while the males looked on with envy as some guy who just entered the restaurant managed to get the attention of the girls they were with. Honestly speaking, she didn't mind if the sadist could command attention just by entering a room, but what irritated her was that all the girls gave him a look that screamed 'notice me!'.

Was it not obvious enough that he was taken and very much not available? Hell, she _was_, _is_ standing beside him, and glaring at all the girls who were now looking at him like he was some kind of meat being sold in the market place.

It was a good analogy though: sadist, the meat, while all the girls who were staring at him were bitches.

Kagura believed that it was _impossible_ for her to hate her fellow females, but this one just went up to another level of 'what-the-fuck' that irritated her, which she believes was akin to her feeling that there was this itch that she couldn't scratch. No matter how hard she tried to locate it, it was impossible for her to know where the heck it was, so she decided to ignore it and just concentrate on the menu on her hand. After deciding that she would be getting a super jumbo _katsu_ with unlimited rice on the side, she raised a hand to call out a staff so they could order.

As soon as the staff member was by their table, immediately, Kagura knew that even this woman, despite looking nonchalant, was sending out glances at him, who was too engrossed with the menu on his hand. After telling the woman her order _five times_ (the damn idiot was unable to process her words), he then said his choice (regular _tonkatsu_, unlimited rice), then handed the menu to the woman.

"When the hell will people stop…" she muttered to herself as she watched the woman nearly trip when she got the menus from them, obviously enamored with the sadistic prince.

"Stop what?" he asked.

_Ugh, even this guy is as dumb as a rock!_ Out loud, she said, "Nothing."

"If you say so." And with that, he was back to suddenly finding the table interesting, all the while ignoring the stares of the women directed at him.

Seriously, she needed to think through this.

"I'm going to the toilet." Without waiting for his response, she headed straight for the establishment's washrooms and locked herself in one of the cubicles as she rested against the cubicle door, her mind racing.

Since when did she let this thing annoy her? For three years, she had been secure with the thought that sadist would never even dream of cheating on her (she'd make sure he would never have the children to inherit the family name, effectively letting his family name die out [1]), yet here she was, inside a toilet, of all the places, suddenly contemplating and feeling quite insecure. Kagura would never doubt him, as she really thinks of him as the type never to cheat, but why was she feeling very angry and doubtful all of a sudden?

"You saw that Shinsengumi guy? He sure is handsome!" one of the women who came in suddenly spoke up, and this had been her line. At this, Kagura froze and waited for their comments.

"Wonder who he's with… doesn't seem like he's alone." spoke her companion. "Or maybe I should take that seat and chat up with him."

_You wouldn't dare…!_

Before she could even stop herself, she stepped out of the cubicle and headed straight back to her seat, fuming mad. Okita looked up as soon as she sat down, looking like she wanted to throw something… or someone. Hopefully, it would be the former, as he did not want to be the target of her rage. He simply did not want to deal with it right now. "Constipation?"

"Shut up." Was her response, which made him smirk.

"Guess it is." He dodged the kick that she delivered under the table.

* * *

The lunch meeting (she absolutely refused to call it a 'date') was the worse she has ever gone to.

As both of them bid each other goodbye (she waved, he stonily muttered 'see ya'), she recalled irritatedly that no fewer than four women had tried to make a pass on him, though she was secretly happy that it ended up with them becoming disappointed, for he was too engrossed with eating and was ignoring them. Curiously, he looked like he had been deep in thought, for there were times he would space out and just let his chopsticks rest on the proper stand. It intrigued her as to why her… lunch companion had been so deep in thought that she was very much tempted to ask him what was on his mind, but told herself not to bother. It was probably a male thing, something she might probably not be so interest in and—

"I-I like you, Okita-sama! Please go out with me!"

"I-I made you homemade chocolates! I-I hope you can find it in your heart to accept it!"

_What the fuck—_

She had only been gone for several minutes, and there were idiots who thought of making a move _on him_?! Angrily, she was about to cut in on them when some compelling force stopped her from doing so and instead made do with the conveniently-placed electrical post that she used as a place to hide and spy on them. Her eyes nearly bulged at the sheer amount of women who had managed to ambush and surround him, all of them looking like they had hit the jackpot. Kagura knew, and was aware of how someone like him was popular (why the hell they did not know that he was a sadist is always beyond her), but not to this extent where all of them were trying to grab him… or worse, try to _hug him_.

Hell, even _she_ hadn't experience any form of physical contact with him, as she really didn't believe in those.

Mutual respect was enough… right?

_'Of course it is. Men should learn their limits.'_ She could clearly recall what her fellow sadistic sister had told her when she had asked for advice about what to do, now that she was dating the Shinsengumi captain.

_'Kagura, that guy needs to know that you're no pushover. You should not let him run you over. Not literally, of course.' Imai Nobume told her one afternoon, while both of them were out in the nearest MisuDo café._

_'Well, what do I do then?'_

_'Depends on you. Isaburo knows better than to call me 'Nobutasu' right in my face or when I'm within hearing range… but he always gives me donuts whenever possible.'_

_Kagura didn't point out the fact that the _oodachi [2] _she carried around was the very weapon that the commander of the Mimawarigumi feared… and the fact that Nobume had some kind of power over her boss, and the only way for him to appease her was through donuts. As they say, men in love were subservient to the person who had stolen their hearts, no matter what their position in life is._

_… And it seemed like even Mimawarigumi commanders and elite family heads were not exempted from such a rule._

_'Well, if that's the case, I'll do what you do, Nobume. I'll make him fear me!'_

… In hindsight, that _probably_ wasn't the best idea she had even come up with.

As she stared at her… rival who was currently surrounded by fangirls, it occurred to her that he was doing _nothing_ to stop them. Some attempted to hug him but he still managed to dodge their 'attacks', though it pissed her off that he wasn't telling them outright that it shouldn't be done. A man who was very much taken should have told them off. Why he wasn't doing such was enough to anger her, but there was no way in hell she would _ever_ march over to where he was and show off that he was taken. That method, for her, was too open and too 'out there'; there was no way in hell she would lower her pride just to accommodate his shortcomings. He knew he was already in a relationship, so what the hell was holding him back from telling them?

_Don't tell me he's playing around behind my back…!_

Before she could even stop herself, she found herself angrily keying in the messages 'YOROZUYA. NOW. DON'T BE LATE JERK.' before running off to the meeting place she had setup for both of them, which was 10 blocks away from where she was currently at.

_This is why I shouldn't make rash decisions_.

* * *

"So? What's this now? You miss me so much that you emailed me to get here immediately?"

To say that he was surprised was incorrect. In fact, he was dreading the whole damn thing.

China suddenly asking him to meet up with her so quickly made him feel nervous. This was very unlike of her to do, as she was the type to meet up with him probably a month, or even three months after the last one. Not that he minded this sudden meet up, but this kind of behavior from her was unusual, and he was dreading every minute of it.

What the hell did she want now?

_I swear, if she's going to yell at me for whatever reason, I'll really call it off._

Despite that promise, he knew it was an empty threat.

He was in too deep, and everyone (except her, of course) knew how deep his affections are towards her. It was ironic that she was so blind when it came to his feelings that there were times he considered just walking away from it all but...

Okita Sougo is, and will always be a fool, but only for her.

"Hell no." she spat.

He nearly felt his heart sink, yet he forced out a poker-faced expression. It wasn't convincing, but hell, she wouldn't notice it anyway. "Then what do you want? I'm in a hurry, China." He said, referring to the lunch break he had used up to spend time with her. Hijikata was getting annoying to the point that he was timing even his lunch hour, and one minute late meant him asking the whole police force to look for him, which was embarrassingly annoying.

She walked up to him and poked his chest. "I saw you flirting with those girls."

_Ah, no wonder._ "Jealous?" he asked.

"And why the hell would I be jealous of them?" she taunted, giving him a smirk on the lips. "Maybe _you're_ the one who is insecure and jealous."

He sighed. "Get to the point. Why did you ask me to go here?" _Stop wasting my time._

"Just letting you know that if I catch you cheating on me, I'll beat the shit out of you." She threatened, using her serious tone to try and intimidate him. While it usually worked and would have made me straighten up his act, right now, he just let her words pass through him.

Frankly, he didn't care anymore if she threatened to do this or that; as long as he would play the role of the boyfriend she had always wanted, he was fine with that.

And he would do so with a smile on his face, albeit a forced one.

"Okay." He deadpanned. "Anything else?"

"You may go now." She waved a hand at him, signaling him to go.

Immediately, he turned his back to her and walked off, never bothering to look back.

* * *

Kagura knew something was wrong when, a week after she had threatened to beat the crap out of Okita if he cheated on her, the man himself seems down and out. She had set yet another lunch get-together with him, and as usual, he met up with her in the Yorozuya before making their way to an okonomiyaki restaurant this time. While she noticed that most couples walked hand-in-hand, or at times, the girl would be hugging her guy's arm, sadist's hands were on his pockets while he looked straight ahead, never looking at her, never talking to her. They walked in silence most of the time, she realized, wondering how and when this route started.

"Sadist." She called out to him.

He didn't turn his head at her. "What?"

"I… I'll be ordering a lot of food, just so you know." She cringed at how pathetic her opening line was.

"Yeah, sure." Was his bored reply. "Nothing new, same old China style of eating."

She felt her cheeks heat up from embarrassment and wanted to retort at his indirect insult, but knew better than to provoke him right now. Even she had her limits, and it seemed like her… lunch companion was having a terrible case of mood swing. She wanted to ask him why he was feeling down, but decided against it as it looked like he was deep in thought.

Kagura hoped the okonomiyaki would help take his mind off of things.

… And it didn't.

Inside the restaurant, he ignored both her and the curious female glances. He ate his okonomiyaki share in silence, would occasionally respond to her comments, but kept to himself as he managed to eat six orders all by himself.

Funny, but she was on her third okonomiyaki before finally giving up, claiming she wasn't as hungry as she thought. At this, he said nothing (simply shrugging) before heading off to the counter to pay for their meals. She had followed suit after finishing her glass of tea, and when they got outside, he muttered a 'see ya' and turned to walk towards the direction of the Shinsengumi compound.

"W-wait." She said.

"What?" was it her imagination, or did he just snap at her…?

"C-can you walk me home?" she knew her request surprised him, but he said nothing. Instead, he waited for her to start walking before following her back to the Yorozuya, which effectively pissed her as she felt like he was acting like a damn dog, only following orders when she gave her commands. Where the hell was the sadist who had been too aggressive for his own good, the one whom she sparred with regularly? Where the hell was he hiding?!

Kagura was just about ready to confront him about his sudden change in attitude when the bane of her existence came running past her…

… and ambushing Okita Sougo, who looked surprise at the sheer number of young girls who were holding small gifts in their hands.

One by one, they called out to him, asking him to accept their gifts, which he had decline. It didn't escape her notice that he was smiling while he declined their tokens of affection, which made her frown, as he had never _ever_ done such a thing to her. It was unfair that he was so nice to them while he treated her so coldly. Why the hell was he nice when they were just strangers?! Wasn't _she_ the person whom he was exclusively dating?!

_I've had enough of this…!_

And with that, Kagura took matters into her own hands.

_Literally_.

Slowly, as not to make her intentions too obvious, she crept up next to him and wrapped both her arms around his left arm, hugging it and letting it press against her cleavage. "Sougo," she said sweetly, surprising herself and the man whose arm she was hugging. "shouldn't we hurry up? We're running late, and Dougenzaka [3] is still a long way from here."

Kagura nearly let out a cackle of glee when the look on the women's faces changed from puzzlement to pure shock. Before she could stop herself, she added, "Come on, let's go! I really can't _wait._" The emphasis on _wait_ was enough for the women to suddenly excuse themselves. One by one, they all muttered their excuses, leaving immediately until not a single one of them remained.

Despite this, she did not let go, but instead let her right arm remained hook on his left as she began to walk once more. The smile was now replaced by a frown, and Okita was no longer scowling. "… What was that just now?"

"I indirectly told them to fuck off because I hate it when people try to touch my personal belonging." She stopped in her walking and looked at him straight in the eye when she said that line. "Do you have a problem with that?"

"Quite the opposite." He said, pressing a kiss on her forehead.

"Lips."

"Huh?" was he dreaming, or did he hear it right?

"Next time, when you attempt to kiss me, it should be on the lips. Even a peck will do."

"Like this?" he bent down to give her a quick peck on the lips, chuckling to himself when he found her blushing a pale pink.

"… That will do." She nodded, trying to regain her composure as she resumed walking, her arm still hooked to his left arm and her free hand preoccupied with her parasol. "Though…"

"Though?" he echoed.

"… Maybe we should push through with the Dougenzaka trip."

Sougo nearly laughed, yet a snort managed to escape. He stopped walking all of a sudden, making Kagura yelp as the person she was dragging had suddenly stood still, nearly making her fall on her butt. "Well, China, waddya know…" he said as he pulled her close, his crimson eyes gleaming as she turned red once more from embarrassment. "… I'm perfectly fine with a sidetrip to Dougenzaka."

"G-glad to hear we're in agreement." She nodded, trying to suppress the heat that was slowly making its way to her face.

"Lead the way then. After all," he smirked. "you're the one who 'couldn't _wait' _for this to happen."

He got punched on the arm as a result… but Sougo knew it was worth it.

For once, the person he was dating was doing _everything _he could only imagine in his dreams (wet dreams included, of course, for our male lead in the story is a healthy, hormonal male, after all)... yet here he was, getting dragged into one of the love hotels located in 'Love Hotel Hill'. He was thankful that all of his efforts to just bear it had been answered… and he had been handsomely rewarded for his efforts.

He'll make it all up to her just to show her how grateful he is.

… In bed, of course.

Sougo had to make use of whatever it was in his disposal, and the most logical solution to it was to put the bed into good use when they get there.

He would give her an experience she will never _ever_ forget.

* * *

Note:

[1] she'd make sure he would never have the children to inherit the family name, effectively letting his family name die out - since at this point Sougo is the lone Okita in his family registry, if he doesn't get married and have children (girls can inherit the family name if it's a must), his family name would not continue _unless_ he has relatives who will be able to carry on the family name for him.

[2] oodachi - type of _katana_ that is very long, around 91 cm in height.

[3] Dougenzaka - located in Shibuya, Tokyo, it is colloquially known as 'Love Hotel Hill' because the area has a lot of love hotels.

Personal story, but I managed to find myself at Love Hotel Hill last July when I visited Japan (I watched the Gintama movie on the side as well) because I got lost and I thought Animate Shibuya was that way... 8D;;; it was weird because I didn't expect to end up there! orz the plus side of it, however, was that I found a convenience store that sold Gintama merchandise! So lucky~

* * *

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the story! Drop me a review and tell me what you think!


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